A curious reader writes:
I was interested to learn while reading about the occult studies of Isaac Newton that there are different 'stones' in alchemy, not just the philosopher's. The WikiPedia article mentions an animal stone, a growing stone and a perspective stone. Then I did a search for the origin of the term stoned. It seems no one really knows for sure, and just figures it comes from stone-drunk; meaning drunk and as unresponsive as a stone. But I'm thinking there might be something to this alchemy connection. Perhaps back in the day our ancestors were cooking up actual crack rocks or morphine crystals or who knows what. Or maybe it was just a code word. Either way, keep an eye out for old alchemical stone recipes.
The alchemical stone riddle has been picked apart from so many angles it is impossible to say. However, a stone is essentially any lump of material. A block of slow-release nitrogen fertilizer could be considered a "growing stone," so the whole concept of alchemical stonery comes down to how far you are willing to push the metaphor.
In the old days, "getting stoned" meant being pummeled to death by hurled rocks, not a very fun or pleasing thing. However, if you consider the context of "stoning oneself," then you could take the metaphor to mean the application of a stone to your head with enough force to produce pleasing (though painful) disorientation. I would apply this metaphor also to the term "getting hammered", as if instead of using drugs or alcohol you were actually applying a hammer to your cranium, presumably multiple times to achieve the desired effect. Isaac Newton may have indeed experimented with the hammer-to-the-head technique of occult insight, the most extreme form of which is trepanation, or the cracking of a hole in the skull with a drill or hammer to produce mystical euphoria.
So, in short, it is my estimation that the euphemism of getting stoned applies to the exercise of producing euphoria, inebriation, or disorientation through the application of brute force, such as a swift blow to the head. Now don't laugh, this is a time honored mystical tradition.
