Oregon-based Santo Daime church sues govt.

I also believe that your manic depression has made things appear worse than they really are. Not to disregard your feelings my dear, but I know people that are suffering from manic depression. Being untreated or taking something that interferes with your treatment can be very detrimental to your physical health and emotional well being. You were going off pretty hard and far in your email of 9/26/200, and seemed to calm down somewhat from there, email after email, calmer and calmer. Your email sounded like you were freaking out, and I don't know what you expected. Seemed disappointed that others didn't respond to your accusations, but that type of behavior usually pushes people away. It's a pattern you may recognize?

I don't doubt that this was a very negative experience for you, but there were reasons for that. It would be good for you to just walk away now, and stop spreading negativity that isn't doing any good. Be the changes you want to see in the world, and see how the world reacts to you. There is no cure for Manic Depression, it is a chemical imbalance in the body that needs to be treated indefinitely, and your main concern should be to continue taking your medications.

I understand wanting to trust others to make sure you have the knowledge you need to proceed forward, but there is also such a thing as self-responsibility. If things were so bad as you say, and there were some what you call seriously scary seekers; why did you stay for two years? I guess that is a question only you can answer. Maybe S&M has something to do with it?

I wish you well, and hope you can let this bad experience go and move forward with your life. That is the real true secret, but you have to do the work yourself.

I have a history of sexual abuse and substance abuse and spent a long period of time in therapy and on many different psycho active "western medicine" drugs. After finding sobriety with out the help of any doctors or pills, I was still suffering greatly from depression and memories of the past traumas. I hated God for letting me experience what I did as a child and had completely turned my back on all religion and spiritual ideology.

THEN, I found Daime. The Daime is a living doctrine that is focused on strength, love, community, healing and finding the Divine source of happiness and joy within. Our sacrament is a living Being (known as Juramidam) with a consciousness of It's own that we commune with in the form of our sacred tea.

My experience with drinking this tea, is one of great peace and surrender. Over the past 11 months I have found a joy that was once so far from me I was certain I would never get it back. Also, I have re-built and strengthened my relationship with God/Goddess in a way that is so powerful, I wake up in gratitude every day.

The positive healings I have received and beautiful experiences I have had would take hours to describe in writing. Long of it short, I no longer have "flash backs" of my abuse trauma, I have healed my relationship with the masculine energy, over come manic depression, extreme phobias, fears and anxieties, have learned how to commune with the Divine Beings that exist in Higher Realms with out fear, love myself more deeply, forgive myself for my past addictions and self destructive behaviors, forgive the man/men who abused me, etc....

Viva Santo Daime! The Ashland current is amazing! What is not to love about joining together in song and prayer to cultivate more Light for yourself and for all of humanity through Love.

It is a blessing to be able to partake in this Holy Sacrament, to sing these Holy Hymns and to learn from our Mestres (Masters) who have walked the path of forgiveness and healing before us.

You have to be careful to separate the reality from the hype (true, perhaps, of all psychedelics and entheogens).

Personally, I've been working with ayahuasca for about seven years, and I've had some periods of very intense work with it. Am I "better" than people who don't use plant-based medicines? Nope. Have I experienced some life-changing, transformative experience?. Again, no. Am I a better person for having done the work? That's impossible to say. I am a different person, but over seven years one could be expected to change regardless of the use of psychedelics, so it is impossible to say--with any precision--which changes I have experienced can be attributed to the work I've done with ayahuasca. (I could speculate one way or the other, but I'm not sure how useful this would be.) Have I "resolved" the issues that originally brought me to the work? No.

In the narrative that is rapidly constellating around ayahuasca in the modern west/north, the tea is often portrayed as a panacea, a miracle cure. This, in my opinion, is a very naive view, and it reminds me of the hyper-enthusiastic narrative that was created around psychedelics the first time around, back in the 50's and 60's.

Honestly, if you're interested in quick fixed and miracle cures, you're not going to find them here, or anywhere else for that matter. I can't think of a single modality that addresses psychological/spiritual issues--religion, meditation, psychotherapy, entheogens, whatever--that doesn't attest unambiguously that these things take a long time, if they're possible at all. It is the height of naivety (and probably a reflection of the messianic strains in our cultural milieu) to think that something--be it plant, chemical, or divine manifestation--is going to swoop down, fix us, and save us.

Life doesn't work that way. It's as silly as me saying "I've meditated every day this week, and I'm still not enlightened!"

If you're interested in ayahuasca, I'd suggest pretty much disregarding everything you've read about it. Those stories tell us more about us (both individually and as a cultural animal) than ayahuasca.

So, if ayahuasca hasn't "fixed" me, why do I continue to drink it?

Ignoring the fact that I ask myself that question sometimes, I guess the best way to explain it is thus: I find it meaningful and useful.

I've given up the belief in end-states; life is a process, and ayahuasca is something that I like to include in that process. It's really that simple. If you're a meditator you're told to meditate everyday, even if you're not "getting anything" from it. You're not supposed to fixate on results; rather, you engage in the process.

For me, work with ayahuasca is like that. It may sound a little tautological, but I drink ayahuasca to drink ayahuasca. It's just part of my life's process.

If one is led to believe that surrender (to a shaman, or a system, or a discipline, or whatever) is the name of the game, then I imagine it would be hard for such a person to treat a person who makes a different choice with the respect they would deserve. The problem might go both ways, of course, I'm just pointing it out. There is probably going to be some potential for conflict or damage done, between people with different personality types, backgrounds, etc.

I am more interested in memes and discussions that promote more of a future for individuals, living in a society where we have space to be different. I'm not so interested in tribalism, or religious communities, or what sometimes seems almost like spiritual protection rackets, or confidence schemes.

I prefer a system of laws, checks and balances, free press, democratically-elected and accountable governance, etc. where the Rights of Woman/Man are protected. That's enough for me, something like the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
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Even if what I'm talking about hasn't yet been achieved completely, and is sort of falling apart these days, and might never work out perfectly--I think it'd be a shame to give up on it. And I know that the Daime folks aren't against all of this, sorry if it looks like a straw man thing I'm doing. I'm just saying that using these kinds of drugs doesn't have to steer people in a group mind direction, or lock them into some tradition or hierarchical structure, or bond them with strangers. It seems like a better idea would be to do it with people who are one's friends.

Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, I haven't used ayahuasca. The more I learn about it, the less interested I am, actually. I am especially skeptical of how some people keep going back to it, to regularly "work on themselves," when I haven't seen many clear examples of people who have become much better people than the many people who don't use this plant medicine. In fact, some ayahuasca enthusiasts come across pretty poorly. Not all of them, I just mean it seems like a more or less normal cross-section of people--united by the experience and the culture that has built up around it, or something.

Anyhow, I know that there are cases of alcoholics being cured after joining this sort of church (and perhaps returning to drink the tea every week), and that it might be something that is exactly what some people need. But I wouldn't be surprised if something like what Kathleen seems to be talking about could happen, as well.

There really is no centralized codification of doctrine; the "doctrine" of the church is expressed through the hymns, so interpretation varies widely between churches. This, too, is not surprising.

And even within the Santo Daime, there are many currents (CEFLURIS being the largest, and I believe most US churches are part of this); given all of this, it almost doesn't make sense to speak of the Santo Daime as a single religion.

thats my email.
I actually get that the daime changes peoples lives. I thought it saved mine. I never could say I experienced a dialogue with God before my first, rather chaotic and officially unofficial work in a private home in Northern California. My life in San Francisco had been a nightmare, though I tried to tell myself it was exciting and there was nothing else. And the very two people who initiated me into the daime (through a side-ministry of sorts between the Bay Area daime church and the S&M community) were also the two most evil people I have ever known. There's no clean break between my life before I realized for the first time ever that I had a reason to live (third daime work, October 1998) and after, even though I tried to sanitize it that way in my mind. Because the serpent kept swallowing its tail. People I had taken to be dangerous displayed vulnerabilities and people I had counted on to be morally unambiguous and correct betrayed their agendas. And somehow, I always was surprised and disappointed. I expect too much of people. I always have. And I still get angry when I think THEY are not getting it right. People get mad right back. That is something I have finally learned to expect.
I'm leaving out a lot of details and jumping around chronologically, because this story does not begin and end neatly or succinctly. When I wrote the initial post, 'I know hwehreof i speak,' etc. I was really mad. And when I'm mad, my writing suffers, but when my writing sucks, then anyone who has a problem with what I'm saying can bask in intellectual superiority. So y'all are welcome. I probably can't understand your witty repartee, but at least you know how cool you are.

Peace to Mother Earth!

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